SEASON 1 – EpiBLOG 4:
Three weeks into dating. You get butterflies seconds before you open the door to see the other person. You stay on the phone for 5-10 hours and don’t understand “where the time has gone.” Your pupils seem to be heart shaped like animators portray love struck characters on cartoons.
It’s a great feeling…
So, I walked into that Blockbuster with the woman who I had been dating for about 3 weeks; the woman who would eventually become my fiancé. That night I was in the position to rent my own movie, while standing next to my girlfriend in public. How powerful was THAT very moment? To hold in my hands the evidence of 7 years of hard work in the form of a plastic disc, while breaking free from the shackles of shame, and not apologizing for the broken chains. When I think back – right now — on that very small part of the space time continuum, I’m grateful to live in a country that creates the breeding ground for visions to come to fruition, for authenticity to be allowed, and for movie characters like “Doc” from Back to the Future to give me the perfect words to use right here.
I am the type of person who spends more time in the future than I do in the present. I can tell you all about what’s going to happen, or what I believe is going to happen “tomorrow.” I always feel like I have to work, set goals, set a plan, and accomplish the goal in order to move on. All of that is a big part of my personality. It works for me most of the time. However, there are moments in the present that I sleep through because I’m waiting to be awakened sometime in the future when I have “what I want.” The truth is, as humbled as I was that night when my girlfriend was making a big deal out of me to the Blockbuster sales clerk, I didn’t appreciate that moment until THIS exact point in time. I spend a lot of my time hibernating and missing out on some wonderful events and people that are directly in front of my face.
Make quality time to spend with your husband or wife. Make quality time to spend with your children and friends. I can’t use the excuse of not spending time with my fiancé because I’m too busy with my work. I’m too busy for someone whom I asked to marry? I’m too busy for someone whom I claim to love?
I’m sure you’ve heard this from other couples, but we’ve decided to have “date night” once a week. Some couples do it once a month. However, we feel once a week is more effective. We’re both extremely busy with our careers, so there is very little time in our schedules to just let our hair down. I’m usually grading papers, writing, or studying. Being a teacher, an active filmmaker, and a student can easily consume anyone’s time. Likewise, my fiancé’s career in Marketing is a never-ending cycle of work. We just moved to San Diego a few months ago, so we have several opportunities to try new adventures. So, we’ve decided that once a week we will choose a new place to experience, and enjoy ourselves for a few hours. Yes, a few hours. This is quality time. “Quality” doesn’t mean that we have to have the entire weekend or even the whole week together. “Quality” means that the time that we plan to spend together will be meaningful. Cutting this time out of our schedule is challenging, but this is what we decided we have to do because both of us have been working more than we need to and not pouring into our relationship.
Throughout my son’s 4 years in high school, I would make personal one-on-one time with him by going out to Zoyo Frozen Yogurt. Zoyo allows you to taste as many different yogurt samples that you want, and once you find the combination that you like, you dispense the amount that you would like and purchase. Sometimes we would eat our frozen yogurt in the shop or take it home, but either way, it would lead to a nice conversation where we would get caught up on what’s going on in each other’s lives. “Quality” time well spent.
The LESSON today is that even though you have to set goals in life in order to have direction, be awake for the “present.” It’s within this current gift of time that you will find beauty, life lessons, and clues to help you reach the goals that you’re looking to achieve anyway.
FUN ASSIGNMENT: Write down what you actually love about your life at this exact moment and why it means so much to you.
Read EpiBLOG 5: NO EXCUSES >>