Season 3 – epiBLOG 3:

There’s nothing sadder to me than watching a gay person work so hard at trying to be straight. Before any of you begin attacking me for making a politically incorrect statement, I want you to know that I’m speaking from personal experience; I’m not being cruel.

Those of you who have been following this blog from the beginning know a lot of my backstory. However, those of you who just joined me along this weekly journey need to understand that I’m an openly gay woman who used to be very much in the depths of my nicest walk-in closet.

I got married to my high school sweetheart (a man), from that marriage we have a son, and we remained married until I told my husband that I just couldn’t lie to myself any longer. That was a 12-year marriage.

Now, what does all of this have to do with you as the artist extraordinaire that you are and what does this have to do with today’s topic?


Pretending to be good at something that you’re so obviously not and something that you can’t stand doing, makes absolutely no sense to continue to do. I’m NOT at all saying that I couldn’t stand my ex-husband and the family that we built. He was great. Our son was great – and still is. However, I couldn’t stand who I was becoming… who I became as a result of not being honest with myself. THAT is what is sad to me when I see a gay person trying so hard to “fit in.” My heart sincerely hurts for them. Nevertheless, I also understand that each of us has our own journey to follow at our own pace.

Today’s topic is for you to focus on and strengthen those talents/skills/attributes that you are great at and that bring you joy.

Truth of the matter is, I can’t stand sales. However, I own a film production company that needs funding so that I can hire talented filmmakers to help bring my stories to life and provide quality content for the LGBT community.

I’ve tried to like it [sales] and embrace it because everyone always likes to say, “Everyone is always selling something all of the time. It’s not that big of a deal. You’re already doing it because you talk about what you love.”

First of all, it IS a big deal. Secondly, I DO enjoy sharing my passions about my film production company, sharing the causes that are close to my heart, sharing the films that I’ve been a part of, the latest script that I’m currently working on… however, I have NOT found “sharing” and “selling” to be the same at all.

Passion and excitement don’t lead to closing a sale as they say in so many sales books. This is what annoys me when SOME self-help gurus attempt to say that people will just throw money at you when you’re excited, passionate, and sincere.  Uh, excuse me, no, they don’t.

“It’s a numbers game!”

“Have faith!”

“Be persistent!”

I just want to tell them to shut up with all of that “noise” in my ear!

I love talking to people about what I love to do. I love listening to others share with me what they love spending their time doing. I love screenwriting. I love watching films, as much as I love making them. I love connecting with people. However, I know that there are better qualified people than myself who love to raise money… and are great at it! So, why should I try to make myself great at something that I’m not good at and don’t enjoy doing? This takes all of my time away from doing what I’m actually great at and what fulfills me. I’ve decided to find that special individual to help financially move my production company forward. I’m good at screenwriting, directing, and bringing people together in a loving and harmonious environment. And those are talents that I will focus on.

Another business owner that I spoke with recently mentioned that he hired a receptionist for his practice because he couldn’t stand scheduling appointments. At the same time, he loves speaking with and taking care of his patients. Hiring a receptionist freed up his time to focus on what he enjoys and what he’s actually great at doing.

There are going to be tasks that you don’t feel like doing that you absolutely have to do. I get it. Nevertheless, those tasks should not be a daily ongoing requirement that constantly takes you away from doing what you’re great at and what lights up your heart like it’s the 4th of July.

Here are my 2 cents worth of advice and steps to follow:

  1. Take inventory of your career as an artist – what do you absolutely enjoy and you would do for free? Be honest with yourself. The answer to this question is exactly what you should be doing as an entrepreneurial artist.
  2. What tasks or objectives must absolutely be achieved to move your endeavor forward? Be specific. List those objectives WITHOUT putting emotion or judgement on any of them. Remain objective.
  3. Out of what must be done, list all of the tasks/objectives that you are NOT good at and/or do NOT enjoy doing.
  4. From the list you created in Step 3, create a list of all of the people in your circle of influence who actually enjoy and are good at what you’re NOT good at and DON’T like.
  5. After you’ve exhausted your circle, use social media and networking groups/mixers (face-to-face) to expand your circle of people to get to know.
  6. At the end of the day, you need to build a team of people with different talents and skills that, when working together, will move your endeavor forward.

You don’t have to be great at everything… newsflash… no one is great at everything! You don’t want mediocrity surrounding you, nor do you want to deliver mediocre work because you may, quite frankly, “suck” at a task. You want to surround yourself with people who are spectacular at what they do, while you’re being spectacular at what you do. Together, amazing things can happen!

NOT having to be good at everything should give you peace… and hopefully… joy and happiness from within.

Today’s LESSON is to let your heart lead you to exactly what you need to be doing.

FUN ASSIGNMENT: If you’ve followed the directions from the 6 steps above, reach out to at least one person this week who is spectacular at what they do in an area that you are not good in at all. Figure out how the two of you can collaborate and make spectacular things happen!



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